04072019 "Why are you up at 4AM?"

My watch tells me its 0359, I am up one minute early. The alarm rings with a narration "GET AFTER IT" a minute after. Snoozed. Shielding myself from the cold with my quilt, ducking under assuring myself I have 20 minutes more.

Brain, "if you wake up now, you wouldn't have to run to bus stop, and you get to journal and all that". Me, "BUT ITS COLD". "it's going to be worth it, you know it". "yea, i know but ITS COLD"

The second alarm rings with "DISCIPLINE EQUALS FREEDOM" captioned. I stretch my legs, pointing my toes, cramping my calves. Oh fuckity. Owh. Owh. Owh. Jumps out of bed, flip my sheets, notices how sore my shoulders are from yesterday workout. Point my toes to cramp my calves even more. There I am up.

The third alarm rings at 0417.  I AM UP ALRIGHT. Dances into the bathroom.

I have had a lot of questions about my 4AMs. Why I do it? How I do it? How did I come to this habit? etc. etc. I hope this post would clear most of it up.

How did this became a habit?

I started to Jocko Willink's podcast shortly after I watched the interview with Joe Rogan. There was just something that spoke to me about him. His drive, his tenacity, his serial killer look and muscles. Damn, I want to be like him. 

I then stalked his Instagram, from pictures of his watch, I learnt that he wakes up at 4.30AM and workout shortly after. I thought to myself that it was extreme. At this time I was waking up at about 0530 (I think), so that I can cook and prep, and be in the gym (near the office) by 0630. 

Somehow, I was just curious to try how 0430 felt like. I also wanted to be in the office earlier than anyone else, planning my day and getting it on by 0730. I was quite determined to get this going. The next morning, my alarm rang at 0430, I shot up my bed. Mentally, I was pumped from last night binge on Jocko's podcast. Yes, 0430, woo, lets get some.I did my usual prepping, got to the city, trained and showered by 0700. 

This has been going on for at least 10 months now. 

from @theliftinglipstick

Why I do it?

By nature, I am quite competitive. At the back of my mind, I want to beat people (in terms of rank not physically (okay maybe sometimes)). If someone isn't doing something, I want to try it. I hate being classified average and am quite flattered when someone says I am "different". 

The 0400 seems to fit. No one else was doing it. Not to mention the amount I get done when I reach the office before everyone else does. I would usually say my hellos to my other colleague who is usually there by 0645. Then, plan my day on a Word document, and start. 

I have also been experimenting starting my work from home at 4AM, heading to the gym and office later. In this instance, I would start with email and things I have to address til about 0630, head to the gym and be in the office at about 0930. I like to switch things up to this format as I would be able to socialize with those at the gym (near my place).

Do I struggle?

Of course, everyone does, some just aren't in a long essay.

For me it's quite simple, I want to be the better. Struggle is inevitable. But there are times where it's just so bloody cold and I don't want to get out of my cozy blanket cave. It's during those times where I have to make a decision, do I want to get up and get an early start, or what? What is the plan?

Making a plan should be on everyone's priority. When Plan A doesn't work out, what's B and C.

In this case, B would be to start my day 30 minutes later, and ending work 30 minutes later. No big deal. C would be to skip the gym, do stretches at home and head to work.

There is no "failure" or guilt involved. A, B and C are all choices.

Tangent

One thing I am still trying to instill in my very stubborn nature is to be more flexible. Sometimes, I still feel guilty getting a sleep in even if I am extremely tired, and it's still before 0600. To me, it's as though I have been defeated, the whole day is going to be affected and I lost.

What I found helpful is to ask myself "so what?".

Woke up at 0500, feeling disappointed. So what? What now? C'mon, let's get it.

I am just another human.

L